They shoot stupid women, don't they?

Women's History month has turned out to be a real blast. I mean, first you have the absolute piece of crap the Washington Post editors printed on March 2nd - you know the one they thought would be "funny" - or at least "ironic"? [note to editors: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."*]

Then we have the linguistic stylings of Dana Perino, White House Spokeswoman. You might remember her actually - and in all seriousness - uttering this:

"I was panicked a bit because I really don't know about . . . the Cuban Missile Crisis," said Perino, who at 35 was born about a decade after the 1962 U.S.-Soviet nuclear showdown. "It had to do with Cuba and missiles, I'm pretty sure." So she consulted her best source. "I came home and I asked my husband," she recalled. "I said, 'Wasn't that like the Bay of Pigs thing?' And he said, 'Oh, Dana.' "

Oh, Dana indeed. I mean, my only thought about that at the time was, are you serious? Are you actually that stupid? [And as a Political Science minor, if Dana Perino never actually heard anything about the Cuban Missile Crisis in 4 years of college, she should return her degree, 'cause she obviously didn't earn it.]

So then the President's spokeswoman appeared on Faux News Sunday, and cleared up any question as to her intelligence. Yes, she is indeed that stupid. Sayeth Dana, "Some of the terms I just don’t know, I haven’t grown up knowing. The type of missiles that are out there: patriots and scuds and cruise missiles and tomahawk missiles. And I think that men just by osmosis understand all of these things, and they’re things that I really have to work at — to know the difference between a carrier and a destroyer, and what it means when one of those is being launched to a certain area. "

Oh, puh-leeze. First of all, speak for yourself, sister. Not all of us are morons about military matters - or delight in appearing to be one. But, come on. You honestly don't know the difference between an aircraft carrier and a destroyer? Didn't you ever watch Top Gun??

Here's something I think will really help: when it comes to US Navy ships, size matters. So, like, an aircraft carrier is, like, really big, 'cause, it like, carries, like 5,000 sailors. And, like, airplanes, too! And so a destroyer, which carries, like, 350 sailors, is smaller. Like, you need a big ship (don't call it a boat) to carry more people, and you need, like, a smaller ship to carry fewer people. Got it? And no, submarines are not the same things as like aircraft carriers. Submarines go under the water, not on top.

*"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."